well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he wants to bone in the snuggie
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
