I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
