I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
