we have officially lost it.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
