Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
