Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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