ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
