She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
