At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he puts the penis in happiness.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
