Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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