New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize