a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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