I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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