I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
