Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Last time i carry you out of a forest
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
