k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize