At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
