Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
