I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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