Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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