Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
