She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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