I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize