I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
