He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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