u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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