We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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