He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
