what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
