everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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