I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
