First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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