i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
