u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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