I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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