oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
operation have a gay friend backfired
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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