Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
