So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
