Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize