At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I cannot find my penis.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
