dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
