I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
