I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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