Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
