..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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