Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
