He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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