i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
