Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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