so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
