I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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