We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
