dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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