: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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