I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
