Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
