He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
