somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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