That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
