Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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